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You will never be a teenage mother
or a teenage prodigy.  
No teenage kicks excusing drunken antics;
you are no longer a teenage dirtbag.

You will never break world records now
or have a distinguished academic career.
You will never be head girl
or swing your schoolbag hand to hand on sticky summer days.

You will never again be innocent
you have nothing left to learn
and you feel you know so little.  
You don't have the excuse of youth

nor the wisdom of age
to keep you safe from prying eyes
and mocking tongues.  

You will never know young love again
or suffer for sneaking out on schoolnights
and you will never sneak in underage
or stand outside defeated.

You will never again be 'far too young',
yet still too old to dream,
and never again will you be forced from the room
for the grownups to talk and you to idle.

No, you will never again be young:
now that you have learned to be young
you find yourself at sea; old.  
shitbiscuits, I'm twenty somehow :S


Critique meeeeee
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbitsofspace:
bitsofspace Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012
twenty one and now and already i'm mourning.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
twenty two! I'm so ollllddddd
Reply
:iconbitsofspace:
bitsofspace Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2012
sad day. "youth is wasted on the young" as my mom likes to say. why do i feel ancient already?
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010  Professional Writer
Man I seriously love how this one opens. I just want to read it over and over again.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I just want to be young again and go and do a load of stupid things back when it was still cool not now I should know better.
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Professional Writer
Haha. We never grow up that much.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah but it gets a bit pathetic after a while. I want to do them all quick before it gets a bit old!
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2010  Professional Writer
I know. My friend is freaking out about turning 21. URG. I'm already in the late 20's. My next big b'day is 30!! WTFFFFF.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
My friend Joel once cried on me that he was 24 and wanted babies in the middle of a bar, he just put his head in my lap and sobbed. It was a bit of a quarter life crisis.
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2010  Professional Writer
Hahahaha. It's funny that woman always talk about their biological clock, but men get it too. You can't imagine what it's like until you're there. I never wanted kids. Because I was a free spirit and I was poor and I had too many crazy genes to want to pass on and I just didn't want them. But then one day I woke up and was like BABY!!! :D And I was crazy and delusional and on lots of drugs so hell I got pregnant without even knowing it. But when I looked back I realized I'd only been taking my birth control about ever other day. WTH?!?! How did this happen?? But I'm glad. I sat on the bathroom floor and cried with joy because I was so glad. I was totally broke and I didn't love the father but I didn't care. I had a little tiny blueberry-sized baby inside me.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
That's why I was so worried when I thought I was pregnant. Because I said to myself, well if I am I will fake appendicitus to everyone and get an abortion and I will never tell anyone, but in the dark of the night running my hand over my stomach, I thought would I? Would I really? It would have ruined my life but would I have done it? But fortunately I never had to find out quite then.
Reply
:iconferaltwilight:
FeralTwilight Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2010
Very relatable, even when not twenty... I will put together a coherent critique when it's earlier in the day ><
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
ooh I look forward to it!
Reply
:iconferaltwilight:
FeralTwilight Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2010
Okay, so

I really think the best part of the poem is how relatable it is, how you used specific examples to illustrate what we've lost, yet the examples are also universal cultural images.

"you have nothing left to learn
and you feel you know so little.
You don't have the excuse of youth

nor the wisdom of age"

this feels like a turning point. While most of the poem is looking back, this passage hints at a forward... but also at how we're stuck with our hands tied.

It's also frightening to see all the experience one has never had laid out in a poem that doesn't give for a hopeful future.

I would reconsider comma placement, I don't think you need as many because the lines don't seems like they need to be broken up as much. The poetry format already does that.

And compared to the rest of the beautiful imagery, this line kind of lacks.

"No teenage kicks
to excuse drunken antics,"

Well, those are my early morning rantings... hope they don't sound to pretentious or stuffy ><
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, thanks for the great comment. I'm definitely taking your advice on the commas, you're right in suggesting I don't need them, and you're spot on with your interpretation of the poem.

I totally get what you mean about the line 'no teenage kicks to excuse drunken antics', it's just not as good as the rest of the poem, and it does let it down rather. I don't really know what else to put because 'teenage kicks' is such a famous idea, and I wanted that in the poem, but I'll definitely think about it, because that would improve the poem.

Thanks for taking the time to write such a detailed comment.
Reply
:iconferaltwilight:
FeralTwilight Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2010
Personally I have never heard "teenage kicks", where does it stem from?

No problem, I'm always happy to analyze, and I'm glad you don't get oversensitive about commentary.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
No, commentary is good, it makes poetry better, otherwise you'd never improve and never get good.

Teenage kicks is quite a well known idea I think... it's in songs and stuff and people (grownups) always say 'oh teenage kicks' when teenagers do stuff.
Reply
:iconferaltwilight:
FeralTwilight Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010
I'll take your word for it :)
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2010  Professional Writer
Perfect ending. I really feel this. I feel exactly like this. And I'm 26. I think we spend a long time being between young and old.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I think my problem is that in some ways I feel rather old and in others I feel very young... and that's kinda confusing. Plus, I was in the music store today buying True Blood with my birthday gift tokens and the guy wanted ID! He said I didn't look a day over fifteen!
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2010  Professional Writer
LOL. No one cards me any more. :D Which is good and bad.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I don't think I've ever been carded to buy a movie in my whole life! I didn't even know they bothered. I guess I know I could pass for a child bus fare now though!
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2010  Professional Writer
Hahahahaha. I used to work selling movies and video games and I totally sold them to underage people all the time. :D
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Meh, age ratings are stupid anyway... you can have sex at 16, but you can't watch it in a movie until you're 18.
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Professional Writer
Here you're not supposed to have sex until your 18. And if you do have sex you can only have it with other people under 18. Haha.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I kinda wish the age here was 18, because a lot of people I know got to sixteen and were like, right I HAVE to have sex, and found awful guys to do it with. If they had another two years before they 'had' to, they might have some sense in their heads to realise they didn't have to do anything, and they could chillax about it and just have fun not worrying what everyone else was doing.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icontoxicwitchling:
ToxicWitchling Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful, I love it.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :D
Reply
:iconwinters-xxx-phoenix:
Winters-xxx-Phoenix Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010
I love it! Really honest and more than a little sad but beautiful nonetheless.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :D
Reply
:iconalecwolfe:
AlecWolfe Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010
I felt that way when I turned 18 and finished high school...and I still feel that way every time I get into the pub no questions asked.... This is a lovely piece of writing that conveys the notion well. Good Work.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, the day after I turned 20 was the first time I didn't get ID'd in the pub. Kinda the end of an era!
Reply
:iconalecwolfe:
AlecWolfe Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010
aww wow that would be heaps sad...
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, being twenty is quite sad in some ways! But it's okay really.
Reply
:iconalecwolfe:
AlecWolfe Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010
true true. I guess it'd be like being 18 - sad cause u get to dumb things anymore and stuff but good at the same time cause yh
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Pretty much, although being 18 is all exciting cause you can drink and learn to drive and things like that, and you leave school but being 20 is the start of having to be responsible and grown up and stuff.
Reply
:iconalecwolfe:
AlecWolfe Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010
that's true. but 18 also means the first time you can vote and be properly held responsible for ur actions... but yeah, 20 would be depressing cause you're really not a kid any more and what is there to look forward to? lol
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Retirement!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmomo-valentine:
Momo-Valentine Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010  Student Writer
Yuck, aging. It's a little lenghty for my taste, but other than that I have nothing remotely negative to say.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :D
Reply
:icondrwhitey:
Drwhitey Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010
it6 happens when you grow up you wish to be young again so me I just play and don't hear what they say good work quite riveting
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
haha thanks!
Reply
:icondrwhitey:
Drwhitey Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010
like peter pan with out the little boys or the tights lol
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, and where's the fun in that?
Reply
:icondrwhitey:
Drwhitey Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2010
all around just look
I have thrown fruit into room and when between the TA and a student and got them banned from lunch
Reply
:icontina-go-lightly:
tina-go-lightly Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010   Writer
that's how felt when I turned 20 this year :)
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
So much angst!
Reply
:icondeathnotelfangirl:
DeathNoteLFanGirl Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010
You definitely managed to get the feel of growing up in there. Good job.
Reply
:iconanarkhos:
Anarkhos Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :D
Reply
:iconproudeyesneverlie:
proudeyesneverlie Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010
i love this. fantastic =)
Reply
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