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Literature Text
It happened again.
One day; something
but the next day, not.
You were fun, secret, an unrolling spool and now
you are not.
I shift,
restless,
and think who next?
One day; something
but the next day, not.
You were fun, secret, an unrolling spool and now
you are not.
I shift,
restless,
and think who next?
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I'm not a monster, I'm just not easily pleased.
Critiques please! Some questions to get your mind started:
1. Too short?
2. How's the punctuation?
3. What kind of voice does this poem get across?
4. Do you feel the length adds or detracts to the sentiment?
5. What would you have done differently.
As usual, anyone who comments will get a comment on a piece of their work in return, as my way of giving back to the dA community. Also if you have something you really want me to read... note me! I get 1000+ notifications a day so I miss a lot of it.
Critiques please! Some questions to get your mind started:
1. Too short?
2. How's the punctuation?
3. What kind of voice does this poem get across?
4. Do you feel the length adds or detracts to the sentiment?
5. What would you have done differently.
As usual, anyone who comments will get a comment on a piece of their work in return, as my way of giving back to the dA community. Also if you have something you really want me to read... note me! I get 1000+ notifications a day so I miss a lot of it.
© 2012 - 2024 Anarkhos
Comments33
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I love this.